My Partner Writes! Negotiating Attention, Affection, Time-Management

I get stressed out when I have a deadline. Really stressed. I turn into a bit of a monster — the kind of monster that, when told there’s a surprise waiting for her at home, freaks out and screams at the surpriser about deadlines.

Directness is a great quality, and it mixes well with a focused, driven personality. Unfortunately, most people think I sound like Pele when I’m annoyed; much less actually pissed.

So after a long day of back and forth, unreasonable behavior and unsightly tantrums, I ran into my room to write. When I emerged, this is what I saw.

flower 1

A rose-petal path, leading into candlelit darkness.

I kid you not, there must have been a hundred candles in each room, ranging from floating in water to clusters of pillar candles.


And more flower petals.

In addition to all the soft lighting and deconstructed flowers, there was a fancy homemade dinner, and drinks in metal goblets.

flower 3

It was basically a gothic fairyland.


It was absolutely extraordinary. The type of person who still does this, for no reason (it wasn’t my birthday or any other event), even when you’ve been in a bad temper is both patient and understanding. Patience and understanding are the building blocks of support. Sometimes we don’t realize the lengths to which others go to make room for us in their lives. It was then that I realized that support is a mutual experience.

There’s a joke that if you want to be a professional artist, you must marry rich. I’d like to expand the definition of rich to include “rich of heart” and “rich of spirit.” Support and wealth are far more than receiving gifts, or having someone attend your events; it’s acknowledging the intangible ways someone facilitates you. This kind of support can be as simple as not texting during writing time; or as elaborate as an over-the-top dinner waiting outside your door.

If you and your partner, or your family and friends are having trouble because of lack of time or attention, talk it through. A little time can be enough time, if you make that time count.




And when you DO have time for something beyond gratitude, it helps to throw down a love-prank of your own.

flower 4

I’ll see your gothic fairyland and raise you an indoor tree. Take THAT!

Which brings me to this: kindness of any sort makes the world a little nicer for everyone in it.

If you don’t know anyone who would respond well to being pranked with love, you can always do a secret mission for a stranger. While Secret Agent L is not my partner, this last week’s events reminded me of her blog.

Check out Secret Agent L, and her continuing mission to spread kindness.


One thought on “My Partner Writes! Negotiating Attention, Affection, Time-Management

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s