Nobody says this.
But fucked up things still happen. We still do fucked up things, and endure them — regardless of our strength/wit/wisdom.
I read this article on comedy and abusive relationships, which reminded me of something my dad said.
When I was recovering, my dad recommended a book to me called Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon–and the Journey of a Generation, by Sheila Weller. He found it eye-opening.
The thing he found most astounding was that these women — who are powerhouses — kept getting screwed, literally and figuratively, by the men in their lives.
He wasn’t shocked by the fact it happens. He was shocked at how consistently, carelessly, and callously it happens. The harm was always casual. The guys either had no idea of the damage they were doing, or they didn’t care.
No idea, or they didn’t care.
I just nodded and said, “yep.”