Tag Archives: christianity

My Godmother, KAOS, on Accessing Divine Love

It’s interesting to note that as much as I make a lot of noise about writing and warriorship, I don’t much mention war on this blog. Or fighting, or technique or research… I’ve been awfully remiss on that score.

It doesn’t much redress the balance to put up this link. Except that it does.

A warrior’s path is a constant struggle. We love it. We challenge ourselves and grow. We seek out our fears in order to track them down and annihilate them. We want to know our enemies as well as we know our lovers. It’s a never-ending uphill battle to be better… whatever one’s definition of “better” is.

Part of that struggle is a well-rounded education. As proud I am of my darkness, I seek, with equal enthusiasm, teachers of peace. I want equal access to compassion and cruelty. I want to be ready when I need to defend myself, and I want to know what peaceful folk know: as complete a feeling of love as can be accessed on this mortal coil.

The link below is a [lesson? Sermon? Storytelling?] that was written and spoken by my godmother, KAOS. I know it was uploaded by her younger son. I don’t know the prompt or context.

KAOS once told me that Irish families gave one child to the church. That is, most children go on to marry and have children, and one of them goes off and dedicates himself to a spiritual path. My brother and sister have children, and I’m off doing my thing. Her son, the one who uploaded this, is who she was talking about when she told me that legend.

Please give it a listen, especially if you’re feeling down or isolated. I downloaded it so I can hear her whenever I miss her.

My heart to yours.

Intuition, intention, imagination.”

Saying YES to life, by Rev. Kathy O’Sullivan


Adventures With Humans – Deli Guy 06 – Farewell

I went to see my Deli guy one last time. The question he asked was “Do you think ending tax cuts for those earning more than 250,000 will be beneficial, and if so, for whom?”

I told him I liked his abstract questions much more. He responded that this was an abstract question because nobody knows the answer.

I asked him where he gets his news from. He said from the newspaper, the radio, etc. I asked if there were any particular shows or newscasters he listened to regularly. He waffled for a bit, saying that CNN and MSNBC are all biased, but he preferred Fox. The reasoning, which surprised me the most, was that at least Fox keeps their bias on the surface.

It made me think of all the times someone had said “bless you,” or “I’m praying for you,” as a means to end the conversation — most recently on the #PrayToEndAbortion chat on Twitter. It’s never a heartfelt expression of concern for my soul. It’s as though they had never learned to wield fuck you and lashed out at me with the only words available.

Saying fuck you with different words is still a lash. That’s always been my problem with polite discourse with someone who is seething. It’s not enough to say what you’re expected to say. The right words aren’t enough. The only way to sooth the ire is to dig deep and find the words that are not only polite, but genuine. That’s civility.

We pass down strange lessons regarding language and history. It’s as though we’re cognitive newborns before object permanence kicked in.

When we forget what we learned in high school, it doesn’t suddenly mean that ‘no one knows.’ What nonsense. I find such attempts as proving atheists wrong frustrating. It is especially frustrating because there are so many resources to see scientific principles at work, such as this hydro-cycle lab. Once bullshit has been discovered to be, in fact, bullshit — we should move on to more exciting and progressive pursuits. Space travel leaps to mind.

I started listening to Breakfast of Champions by Vonnegut today. Early in the book, he talks about how children are taught that Colombus discovered America in 1492. Columbus didn’t discover America, but he did begin European economic conquest of the region. We know that Native Americans were here, and that Vikings called them Skraelings five hundred years before Colombus arrived. The US is like any other empire — Rome, any part of China’s dynastic cycle, or Galactic Empire from Star Wars — and we need to tweak history to legitimize ourselves. We know we do it, but don’t do anything to correct it.

A former roommate of mine insisted that there will be no revolution in the US so long as we have TV. Or Netflix. I don’t think we’re fucked; but I do think we’re making very silly, obvious, correctable mistakes.

I couldn’t say any of this to my Deli Guy. I can wield a damn good fuck you; but as much as we disagreed, I didn’t want to hurt him.

As I munched my breakfast sandwich (it was 0630) I told my deli guy that I came to say goodbye. I was moving, I said, and told him where I was going. He commented on my destination’s recent law forbidding people to sit or lay down on the sidewalk. He said he was surprised that such a liberal city would be so hard-hearted.

I left feeling a little awkward and disappointed.

Adventures With Humans – Deli Guy 05 – End of Days

Question 5:  What do you think of Syria?

The Deli was particularly busy on this day. I got to sleep late so I wound up going in at lunchtime. He seemed stressed. He wasn’t keeping up with the orders as well as he would’ve liked. I ordered a Bacon Egg & Cheese Croissant and a coffee.

He spilled my coffee while he was adding the sugar to it. He looked so frazzled. His shoulders sagged. He apologized. I said “No, no, it’s alright, I’m just glad you’re not burned.”

I didn’t really have anywhere to be for another hour or so, so I ate in. I waited until the rest of the lunch orders went through and took my time sipping my coffee. Once the place slowed down again and there were only two or three customers, we got to talking about The Daily Question. Somehow this particular question wound around to talking about The End. I said it depends how you view The End. He said that people have been predicting the end since the time of Christ. I laughed and said, oh yes, even long before that.

Then I said that in Tarot, the Death card represents drastic change; the end of one state and the beginning of a new one. He said, in a quiet, almost apologetic tone, that Tarot is occult, and he would never associate with such things.

After that response, I tried to appeal to him with examples from within his faith. The Gnostics emphasized Christ’s dual nature (divine and human), compared to the Chalcedonians (who thought he was all human), and the Monophysites (who thought he was solely divine). There’s a Gnostic text that suggests that Christ had to die as a mortal in order to be reborn to his divinity. Isn’t that the same idea?

He said no. The End is what it says in The Bible, which is a fundamental change in all reality.

Then the deli got busy again. I sat, and I sipped my coffee and waited. I realized I was watching him the way a cat watches a mouse. I thought that if the sun explodes, or the sea rises, and all of humanity or even the Earth is wiped out, it won’t change physics. I wanted to convince him of my view. I wanted him to know about death and rebirth and the constant cycle of change.

I realized that I was only staying there because I wanted to pick this fight. I felt sheepish, headed out, and we both waved goodbye with smiles on our faces.



What will be left when the fighting’s done?